5 things I tried to spice up my sex life (and actually enjoyed)

By Luna Vermeer

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There came a point where sex started to feel a little too much like brushing my teeth, predictable, necessary, but not exactly thrilling. I wanted that spark back, the playful energy that made me feel alive and sexy. So, I decided to experiment with a few things, some bold, some silly, and some that just plain surprised me. The result? A mix of laughter, awkwardness, and some seriously good nights.

1. Sleeping naked

I thought sliding into bed naked would be awkward but once I tried it I found that I slept deeper and my skin improved. But I also found I was easier for me to get turned on. There is something very sexy about your husband wrapping an arm around your naked body.

2. Adding a toy

I used to think bringing toys into bed would feel awkward, but honestly, it felt like inviting a fun new friend to the party. There were a few clumsy moments like when one buzzed itself off the nightstand mid-action but instead of killing the mood, it made us both laugh harder. It also opened up conversations about what I actually enjoy, which made everything more intimate. The toys weren’t replacements, they were little amplifiers, making good sex even better. And the fact that we could joke about it in the morning over coffee? Even hotter.

3. A little roleplay

Okay, so we didn’t go full-on costumes and scripts, but pretending to be different versions of ourselves was surprisingly freeing. One night I decided to play the “confident seductress” (a far cry from my usual sweatpants self). I felt ridiculous at first, but then I noticed how just stepping into that persona gave me permission to ask for things I normally wouldn’t.

4. Switching Locations

We left the bedroom behind a few times: couch, shower, kitchen counter (not as glamorous as it sounds). Every new spot came with its own set of challenges, like slippery tiles or squeaky cushions, but the novelty made it exciting. Even when it wasn’t perfectly comfortable, it felt fun just breaking the routine. Plus, those awkward moments turned into private moments. Sex doesn’t need to be flawless it just needs to be alive. Changing the scenery reminded us of that.

5. Saying What I Actually Want

Out of all the experiments, this one had the biggest payoff. For years, I thought I was being polite by keeping quiet, but once I started speaking up asking for slower touch, different positions, or even just more kissing it changed everything. It felt vulnerable at first, but the relief of being honest outweighed the fear. Communication turned out to be the ultimate spice, and it made me realize that the hottest thing isn’t a new toy or outfit it’s being brave enough to share what really lights you up.

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