How I stopped being mad at everyone and finally relaxed

By Luna Vermeer

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For a long time, I was basically a walking thundercloud always ready to strike at the smallest irritation. If someone chewed too loudly near me, I could practically write them out of my will. It was exhausting to be so constantly annoyed, and honestly, it wasn’t making me any happier. Somewhere between yoga mats, messy kitchens, and a few too many angry outbursts, I decided to experiment with dropping the anger and seeing what happened.

Anger was my default setting

I used to wake up annoyed before I even checked my phone. The way the neighbor’s dog barked? Offensive. The way my partner breathed? Suspicious. And don’t even get me started on slow walkers in the supermarket. Anger was like my morning coffee automatic, slightly bitter, and strangely energizing. But after years of snapping at everyone and silently seething at strangers, I realized I was the one lugging around all that bad energy.

Learning to laugh

One day I dropped an entire jar of pickles on the kitchen floor and instead of screaming, I just started laughing. Maybe it was the ridiculous smell of vinegar everywhere, or maybe I was too tired to be mad again. But that moment taught me something: maybe life is funny, not offensive. Now when someone cuts me off in traffic, I imagine them rushing home to get to the toilet instead of plotting to ruin my day. It’s not that I never get irritated, but turning it into comedy keeps me from spiraling. Plus, it’s way more fun to laugh than to grind my teeth.

The costs

I also started noticing how my body felt after an anger episode: clenched jaw, tight shoulders, stomach in knots. So I swapped some of those clenched moments with deep breaths, long baths, and yes even self-pleasure. Nothing resets a bad mood faster than a good orgasm, trust me. My body went from being a pressure cooker to being more like a slow simmer, and it was a relief. I realized anger was basically unpaid rent in my nervous system, and evicting it felt like getting my house back.

Giving people back their humanity

What really made the difference was remembering that everyone else is just as flawed and stressed as I am. The lady with 25 coupons in line? She probably needs the savings. The guy who always interrupts? Maybe he grew up in a family where you had to shout to be heard. Once I stopped taking everyone’s quirks personally, I felt lighter. I won’t lie, I still roll my eyes sometimes, but now it’s playful instead of poisonous. My relationships are calmer, my skin looks better (seriously), and most importantly I don’t feel like I’m at war with the whole world anymore. Turns out letting go of anger doesn’t make you soft; it makes you free.

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